Chemistry and online dating
Going online lets you filter for what's important to you.In our offline life, we are constrained by many things in our search to meet Mr. Who we interact with and how we interact with them is dependent on where we live, who we work with, where we grew up, where we went to school, the commute we take, the after-work activities we engage in, the place we worship, etc.My hunch is that going through online profiles more icky because you’re being faced more concretely with what your brain normally does subconsciously. Are you worried that a profile and some photos won’t do you justice?First of all, take a deep breath, and remember that it's just like making a good first impression in real life, nothing more than that.Instead, take heart in that you have correctly identified the other 80% that you have zero interest in. Chemistry is a little bit of a mystery—but that’s not online dating’s fault.I’ve gone on dates with people who I thought I’d have a ton of chemistry with, but didn’t, and ended up totally hitting it off with others who I didn’t really think I would.
I get your reluctance to join the digital masses, the desire to meet your future spouse the old-fashioned way.
I’ve had mediocre first meetings that ended up with a great date, and vice versa. ” So yes, sometimes online meeting means it’s a little harder to judge what the ultimate in-person chemistry will be.
That doesn’t mean that the online-meeting process is flawed.
The nice thing is that online meeting doesn't mean that you'll be swimming in a sea with way too many options.
Just as in real life, different sites attract different kinds of people, and then we have to set some filters on the kind of people we want to interact with.